Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
John F. Kennedy
A victim in the purest sense of the word and is traditionally understood as an individual who has suffered harm, loss, or trauma — whether physical, emotional, or psychological — often due to the actions or negligence of others or because of external circumstances beyond their control. In a broader sense, the concept of a victim can be analyzed in various contexts, exploring how individuals or groups may perceive themselves or be perceived as victims, and how this identity shapes interactions and outcomes in both personal and societal frameworks.
Within the mental health field and through therapy many sexual abuse victims will be taught to say that they are survivors. However, survivor and similar words, keep people in victim energy. The distinction between a survivor and a victim lies not only in circumstance but also in identity and mindset. While the term “victim” may evoke feelings of helplessness and passivity, “survivor” often conveys resilience, strength, and the ability to overcome adversity, when in fact it does not. Language plays a pivotal role in maintaining or shifting individuals within these emotional states. Certain words or phrases — such as “trapped,” “powerless,” “broken,” “damaged,” “scarred,” or “defeated” — reinforce victim energy by emphasizing limitations and despair. In contrast, empowering language, like “healing,” “growth,” “empowerment,” and “perseverance,” encourages agency and transformation, fostering a survivor’s mindset. Recognizing the impact of language is essential in understanding the dynamics of victim energy and its pervasive influence on personal and societal levels. I have always taken issue with survivor as words for healing after a childhood sexual abuse. Rather, I work from a place of empowerment and have always taught that through healing the perpetrator will always lose.
By living in healing and empowerment, individuals can transcend the bounds of victim energy, transforming their experiences of adversity into sources of strength and wisdom. This journey begins with a conscious choice to redefine one’s narrative, focusing not on the pain of the past but on the possibilities of the future. It invites a shift from seeing oneself as a passive recipient of hardship to an active participant in one’s own growth and recovery.
Healing involves embracing vulnerability as a steppingstone rather than a setback, recognizing that it is through confronting pain that we find the courage to rebuild. Empowerment, on the other hand, is cultivated by fostering self-awareness, setting boundaries, and nurturing a sense of agency. These processes are interconnected, forming a dynamic interplay where resilience and hope become the foundation for meaningful change.
On a broader scale, this philosophy of healing and empowerment has the potential to ripple outward, influencing not only personal well-being but also the dynamics of relationships and communities. It encourages a cultural shift where individuals are celebrated for their capacity to rise above challenges and contribute to collective strength, rather than being defined by their struggles.
The victim in a relationship will partner with a rescuer causing a dynamic that is a cornerstone of many interpersonal and societal interactions, often perpetuating cycles of dependency and control. This dynamic is rooted in the interplay between individuals or groups where one party identifies as the victim, often feeling powerless or wronged, while another assumes the role of the rescuer, driven by a desire to help, protect, or “fix” the situation. While the rescuer’s intentions may stem from compassion or altruism, this role can inadvertently reinforce the victim’s perceived helplessness and reliance. The rescuer may derive identity or purpose from their role, creating an unbalanced relationship where the focus remains on the victim’s struggles rather than their capacity for self-determination. Furthermore, this dynamic can lead to resentment or burnout for the rescuer, as their efforts may not lead to the outcomes they seek, perpetuating frustration on both sides when in reality the victim energy holds the power in the dynamic.
Breaking free from this pattern requires awareness and a conscious effort to shift the narrative. Empowering language and actions that promote autonomy, resilience, and mutual respect are essential. By encouraging individuals to recognize their own agency and strength, the victim and rescuer can transition to a relationship of equality and shared growth, rather than one defined by dependence and obligation.
The dynamics of victim energy encompass a complex interplay of emotions, perceptions, and societal influences. At the micro level, individual experiences of victimhood often manifest as feelings of vulnerability, anger, or despair, which can shape one’s self-identity and interpersonal relationships. This micro victim energy may lead individuals to either withdraw or seek validation from others, reinforcing cycles of dependency or self-doubt.
On the macro level, victim energy can influence collective narratives, movements, and societal frameworks. Entire groups may rally around shared experiences of injustice or oppression, using victim identity as a unifying force to demand change and recognition. While this solidarity can be powerful, it also risks entrenching a collective mindset focused solely on suffering rather than transformation.
The effects of victim energy, whether micro or macro, are profound. It can mobilize action and awareness, yet it can also hinder progress by perpetuating cycles of blame and helplessness. Understanding and addressing these dynamics is essential to fostering resilience and empowerment in both personal and societal contexts.